8 months ago
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Keeping The Faith
So I've been meaning to write this post for awhile now...pretty much since the day we found out we were pregnant. Being pregnant, for me, at least (I know everyone is different) has done a LOT for my faith and my belief in God. I'm not normally very vocal about Religion, Faith or spirituality and I'm not getting preachy here trying to convert anyone or get them to see the world through my eyes, I'm just putting my thoughts out there for everyone to get to an idea of what I'm thinking, going through this entire process.
First of all...pregnancy is amazing. I hate to be cliche and say "it's a miracle" but I'm pretty sure it is! there were a few cells...meaningless, nameless CELLS hanging out in my body for a little while, and then they started chatting and hanging out and then *BAM* we have a fetus! What?! How does that happen? It's amazing to think about..and to know in 17 short weeks we've gone from a few cells, a weird looking thing with a tail, then something with a very large head and a small body and clubs for limbs to a little turnip that looks very much like a baby (Albeit a very SMALL baby!)- that just blows my mind! Thinking of the development of the baby doesn't so much do anything for my Faith, but it does just kind of blow my mind...what really gets me thinking about a Power or being watching out from above is the fact that I am carrying my CHILD...that I get to be a PARENT...that basically, I was chosen for some reason to carry this child in me and after I give birth to "him" I'll be responsible for his life...and that I was chosen to do that...chosen by who? Well, I say God.
I just am now in a position to think about things that I NEVER had reason to think about before...for example, if this child has any sort of handicap or disability- some may be disappointed with that outcome, but given that I am now that Mother of that child- I feel blessed that someone thought I was a strong enough, good enough person (as well as Jason) to take care of that child. If this child has no handicaps or disabilities, the same rule still applies- I was still chosen to care for this child- to guide them through life and be responsible for them for as long as I live...that is an AMAZING responsibility and an amazing gift...my job now is to make sure I live a life worthy of this gift...let's hope I can do it!! I'm very excited to try!